I found my dad in September. I had no idea what to expect when I reached out in a message on Facebook to this man I had never met. Would he be shocked? Would he be happy? What if he didn’t believe me? What if he wanted nothing to do with me? And how do you catch up on 52 years?
I think he believed me right away. He told me my mother’s name before I mentioned it. He was ecstatic and immediately told all his family. My dad wanted to be part of my life.
What came next were miles and miles of messages, phone calls and FaceTime chats. Screen time on my phone has increased dramatically since September 7th, haha!
52 years is a lot to catch up. We missed birthdays, Christmases, and school dances. My first tea party, first puppy, catching a snake, and gymnastics class. Playing in the woods and me screaming in terror when a raccoon tried to climb up my leg.
My first time driving, my first boyfriend (although that one might be a good thing), and giving me away at my wedding. He missed the birth of his first grandchild and his first great grandchild.
These are all moments that can’t be recreated. So I try my best to describe them and share what pictures I have.
We played 20 questions back in the beginning. Favorite food, favorite color, jelly or jam and so on…It’s astonishing how alike we are. I am now a firm believer in nature over nurture.
He heard about my wild teenage years (I was a horrible teenager) and he said “you were a spirited one”. I don’t think anything I have told him has shocked him yet.
I told him my deepest, darkest secret. One that I have never told another living soul. No judgement, he understood.
Dad tells me stories about my grandparents and my aunts, all of whom are gone now except one. He talks about his favorite baseball team and football team. Go Pack Go!!
I get to hear all about his time as a radio DJ and all the singers and bands he got to meet. I wish I would have been there for all of that. I could listen to his stories for hours, it’s mesmerizing and fascinating. He has a radio voice and he rolls his eyes when I tell him that.
I hear about my sisters and my brother and wish I could have been there with them as we were all growing up.
The miles and miles of messages and phone calls and FaceTimes continue still. I’m certain it will never stop. He’s my dad and I can’t imagine going even one day without talking to him. I truly believe it would have been that way even if I had been with him all these years.
I am a daddy’s girl.
Catching up on 52 years doesn’t happen overnight, not in a week, not in a few months. I am insisting on at least 30 more years together on this earth.
I honestly don’t know if we will ever make up for all that lost time, but we sure are doing our best.
I met another adoptee on Instagram, she wrote a post titled Dear Adoption, I Never Would Have Chosen You. No truer words have ever been written.
Until next time,